Monday, 08 June 2009

• Communication

  Have you ever stopped to think how very vital this word is to our world?  How it affects our relationships with others?  I'm not talking about communication on a technical level.  In fact, I believe because of our technological developments, our personal communication has taken a hit.  It's too easy to type or talk to a screen, to make yourself into who you want to be instead of who you are.  It's too easy to pretend . . .

  I am a communicator.  Even when the kids were little, if there was a conflict, it was my goal to resolve it.  Peacefully if possible, with dialog between the opposing parties.  My kids learned early that if they wanted something from Mom, they would be wise to talk to me with respect, to explain themselves.  I would cave in an honest discussion when tears & tantrums would not move me.  A couple of them would raise their voices in an effort to be "heard".  It just created more chaos -- which did not fly.  We sometimes used a talking stick to stop interruptions and create verbal boundaries (the person holding the stick had the floor).  Today my kids know they can talk to us about anything -- with respect -- and we will listen. 

  Language is one of those defining human characteristics that separate us from animals.  There are very few who would argue though, that animals can't communicate.  I am thinking of our German Shepherd who gets a big "grin" on his face when he gets a little attention.  Or our horse Candy, as she watches and waits patiently for you to smack a big bull fly that's bothering her.  She knows we are helping her and she should not kick.  But, even those animals who can learn words cannot communicate on a human level. 

  I also believe that language is a gauge in our society.  The "classes" are divided by language.  The first time you hear a person speak, you instinctively place that person in upper, middle or lower class (I have more to share on the classes, but that's another time).  Add to that their personal appearance and other nonverbals and we have formed our first impression -- the one that is difficult to change (and usually reinforced with additional interaction).  We distinguish ourselves by our language, when we are able to use words well (in either written or oral form), we are declaring to others the class to which we belong, the education level we have received, what our priorities are.

  So does all this matter?  When a person uses foul language, speaks coursely or rudely, this is saying to the other individual, "what you may think about me doesn't matter".  But, when we refuse to use words to express ourselves with dignity, with courtesy, with respect for the other person, this reflects poorly.  Are they so uneducated and "dumb" that they must use foul language to express themselves?  It goes deeper than "culture" or feeling like there is just no other options for expressing the emotion.  We have a couple of dancing movies, one is Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas, the other is Save the Last Dance with (sorry can't remember).  Anyway, these movies are set in the inner city.  The culture is rough, life is on the edge.  The language is common & course.  Yet when Antonio Banderas plays his part, offering courtesy and dignity in this world, he stands head and shoulders above everyone else without really saying anything at all.  As a culture, our language is sliding downhill.  It's a measurement of courtesy.  Courtesy is a part of character.  Without character, we have stepped back into the dark ages.

  As the saying goes:  "Tis better to remain silent and be thought an idiot than to speak and remove all doubt."  Yeah, little bit of truth in that one, especially if the words are foul.

  Friends  ~  Terri

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